Am I a Good
Communicator or Not?
I have always considered myself a
descent communicator when it comes to work, family, and friends. I know that I am not the best communicator when
it comes to my relationships. Mainly because
I tend to hold things in until I am fed up and there is not much reasoning with
me. In reference to communicating with
some of my friends the things that I want to say do not always come out too
clear. I tend to try to “candy coat”
certain thoughts that come in my head.
For example when you want to tell your friend that the outfit that she
is wearing makes her look fat or it just simply does not flatter her at
all. I want to say it just like I think
it. However not everyone is able to receive
criticism in a direct straight forward manner.
In cases like this my message and point is not always received because of
the diplomatic manner I try to relay my communication in.
My boyfriend thinks that I have
awful communication skills. I think one
of the main reasons for this is because of our cultural differences. I also do not think we completely listen to
each other. Which causes the other one
to get frustrated. I guess we can be
thankful that we do not have too many situations where it is a huge hindrance on
our relationship. It is something we
both recognize and know that we have to work on it.
My family thinks that I am a good
communicator. I think that this is
because my immediate family is able to be as blunt as we like with each
other. This way there is no room for any
misinterpretation. This works for us
because we do not tend to be too sensitive.
This is just a problem when we are communicating with others. At least for me it is.
My friends are split. I think when it comes to my friends; the ones
who do not like the things that I have to say are the ones who say that they
do not think that I am effective communicator.
However the friends who I mainly seem to agree with or am able to be
more direct with say that they think that I am a very effective communicator.
Sherry, I think you made a key point when noting that the difficulties you have in communicating with your boyfriend may stem from cultural differences. Your communication style is successful with your immediate family, whose cultural context and schemas more closely follow your own. The positive that comes from self-assessment is that it allows us to continue improving on our path toward becoming competent communicators.
ReplyDeleteI agree it is hard to communicate with others when they are from different cultures. Some cultures are blunt like you said and some are more reserved. It gets tough sometimes but like you said you and your boyfriend are working on it which is good!
ReplyDeleteHi Sherry,
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed reading your post this week. It seems like your communication changes with different contexts. You mentioned that yourself and others think you are a good communicator, but you said your boyfriend does not think so. Listening skills are just as important as communicating, so maybe the person who thinks you aren't a good communicator is the one not listening effectively. My husband does the same thing ;-) Relationships with significant others are quite different than those with colleagues, friends, or strangers.