3 R's at there best!!!
I try to make it a common practice to avoid confrontational situations at work. This is not always possible. My manager and I seem to constantly bump heads at work. My co-workers and I all agree when we say he is a great guy but a horrible manager. One of the things that he lacks is good communication skills.
He sent me an email the other day questioning my activities and productivity for the day. I vaguely explained to him what I was doing. I did it in a vague manner because I did not think that I had to list every single activity that I was doing at the moment. I had never had to answer a question like that in the 8 years that I have been working for the company.
I thought that that was the end of the correspondence. I finished up my day and started my weekend. I found an email waiting for me Monday morning questioning the response that I had given my manager. I was a little thrown back. I then answered my manager in more detail and explained to him that I did not think that it was necessary for me to go into great detail in my previous email.
He then called a short meeting with me. He told me that he did not mean to come off as if he was questioning me or mean to offend me. I then told him that is exactly how I felt. I had originally felt disrespected by the emails. I am happy that he thought he enough of me to even address the matter and not let there be bad blood between us. Originally I felt that my manager came at me in a confrontational manner and my response was confrontational. When he communicated to me in a nonviolent manner, it then made me respond in a nonviolent manner. We both felt accomplished after talking and realizing what the other felt, needed, and wanted.
I find that emails and texts always causes drama and people usually take things the wrong way because you cant see a persons facial expressions while reading what they sent you. I find it's always best to just talk to the person in person, it usually works out better.
ReplyDeleteCommunication through technology can create many problems that a face to face conversation would have never brought up. During your conversation at the end you both were respectful, responsive to each others perspective and allowed for each others needs to be met by the end of the conversation. It is so important to address situations that evoke emotion with a nonviolent attitude. I know from experience when reflecting on the conversation you will be much more proud of your actions. Great example!
ReplyDeleteAloha Sherry,
ReplyDeleteI love using my email to communicate to my staff reminders of lesson plans or staff meetings, but when it comes to other issues, I try to make time for a face to face. I agree with Jamie and Alyssa that emails do not come with tone and attitude. The context many be accurate and correct, but we all may interrupt the context differently. I'm glad that you were able to resolve your conflict utilizing the 3R's and nonviolent communication. I've been attempting to try to use those same methods with other managers, but when they tell me that's all their problems, I know there is something else but they don't want to share with me. I feel as if they won't share because I should know what is bothering them.